Before we dive into this book review, let’s read the blurb!
Jasper Reid is everything his fans of The Obsolete want him to be. Whether it’s for the dance-y pop songs he writes, his flirty and mischievous onstage persona, or the masterful way he plays along with the fans’ ships, he’s the perfect performer. On the verge of turning twenty-one, in what’s expected to be the next boyband phenomenon, his life could not get any better. 
Until he meets Ryan, an irresistibly attractive dancer, who is added out of the blue to their vocal band. Jasper is quick to call bullshit on the manager’s reason for this addition, but even quicker to accidentally flirt with their new member.
This close to the band a success, Jasper’s pissed to be training this dancing liability. Between Jasper’s outspoken nature and Ryan’s anxiety, tensions rise. When a plan to improve Ryan’s confidence backfires, putting the spotlight on something Jasper’s been ignoring all his life’s truths come to light.
Can Jasper let himself get swept up in his own real-life convoluted, fanfic love story while protecting Ryan from the negatives of fame, uncovering the real reason their manager added him, and saving the band? or will a photo scandal throw everything out in favor of some satisfyingly petty revenge?
I initially bought this book without even reading the blurb – mostly because the author is a Twitter mutual and I wanted to support her. My opinion of the book will not be biased to my friendship with the author.
I feel like this story has a nice mixture of character and plot driven characteristics.
Each character in the story had their own unique personality. Clearly, we are rooting for Jasper and Ryan, along with the rest of the members of The Obsolete. We get the villain of the story – the manager, Chris – and he’s a much hated character. We see character growth for all the members of the band. The author did such an amazing job with character development throughout the whole book.
Also, Jasper instantly stole my heart. He is sassy, mischievous, a badass. There is not much to hate about him. I love him and will protect him from every bad energy that goes his way.
As for the plots, they mostly consist of revealing the toxic manager to the world, exploring Jasper’s sexuality, and the development of Jasper and Ryan’s relationship. The book’s main focus was the manager and all the others were subplots. Each situation connected to all the plots and tied everything together beautifully.
However, I have some issues with the book that made me give it a lower rating.
I feel the story moved too fast. I was expecting the book to be a slow-burn, enemies-to-lovers romance, but it was rather quick. There was not enough build-up between the two. I wanted to see more bickering between them.
There were also some situations that were left up in the air. Jasper’s family are super religious and I imagined they heard about him coming out or seen the photo of him kissing another man circling around the internet. The readers don’t get to see his family, but they were mentioned a few times.
We also have the situation with Chris and Ryan’s mother that was fishy and it seemed to remain unanswered.
My main question about those situation were: why did this happen?
I also want to know more about the other members of the band. We get to explore Jasper, Ryan, and a tiny bit of Blake, but I want to know more about him, Luke, and Simon! It seemed like Jasper didn’t really know Luke and Simon either, since some of their private life was revealed and he was shocked.
This book is going to be part of a series, so I am hoping to get those situations answered and to learn more about the other members of the band in book two. I seriously cannot wait to read book two!
To end this review, I have to say my favorite part of the book is the demisexual representation. This is the first book I’ve ever read with demisexual representation and I am so happy it was this book. The author did a fantastic job showing what it means to be demisexual. If you’re looking for a book to read with demisexual representation, this is the one, hands down!
I had high expectations of this book. The last two semesters at school, I took two art history classes and got so excited to see a fictional novel with art history involved!
Before we dive into my review, let’s take a look at the blurb:
“When Ann Stilwell arrives in New York City, she expects to spend her summer working as a curatorial associate at the Metropolitan Museum of Art. Instead, she finds herself assigned to The Cloisters, a gothic museum and garden renowned for its medieval art collection and its group of enigmatic researchers studying the history of divination.
Desperate to escape her painful past, Ann is happy to indulge the researchers’ more outlandish theories about the history of fortune telling. But what begins as academic curiosity quickly turns into obsession when Ann discovers a hidden 15th-century deck of tarot cards that might hold the key to predicting the future. When the dangerous game of power, seduction, and ambition at The Cloisters turns deadly, Ann becomes locked in a race for answers as the line between the arcane and the modern blurs.
Obviously, the first thing that caught my eye was the beautiful cover design. It reminds me of a tarot card, which relates to the research Ann does.
The thrill, mysteries, and even hints of romance is what kept me continuing to read.
Although I continued to read, it took me a few months to complete the book.
It begins with Ann leaving home to New York City, saying goodbye to her mother and her hometown. She is still recovering from the death of her father, but she felt she needed to get away to escape her feelings of grief.
Upon arriving in New York, she gets to The Met Musuem and found she has to be reassigned to The Cloisters to work as a summer intern. She works under Patrick, who dedicates his life of being a scholar and collector. Ann also works with Rachel – who so happens to be the “it” girl and have a romantic relationship with Patrick. Their assignment for the summer were to dive into the history of fortune-telling. While working there, she also meets Leo, who works in the garden (which also has deadly plants) and develops romantic feelings for him.
The reader gets to watch Ann grow as she adjusts to this new, huge change in her life. I felt I couldn’t connect to Ann. I felt she was just there, telling us a story. If the author pushed a little farther into showing Ann’s feelings, I feel like it would’ve been easier to connect to her.
Ann also forms a strange friendship with Rachel. There were times during the story where I couldn’t tell if they were friends or enemies. It does make sense towards the end of the book why Ann and Rachel would have made great friends since they shared similar experiences, but other than that, it seemed to be there was always some sort of unnecessary competition between the two.
Going back to Ann’s father – it wasn’t really mentioned in the book much about his life. The book mentioned he was a scholar and how his love of education pushed Ann to love it. To me, I feel the author could’ve expanded on her father if she was going to include him so much at different parts of the story.
This book was also a slow burn. It picked up about 50% into the book and even took a dark, unexpected turn towards the end that I never would’ve seen coming. The unexpected twist seemed to be unnecessary, and it ruined the story for me. I don’t want to give too much away about it, but I will say the second death is something that will shock the reader.
I wished the author expanded on the ending of the book. Since it was such a slow burn for things to actually happen, the author could have used that time to expand. I got the sense this is what held it back from its full potential.
Review spaces could be brutal – people sharing their honest opinion, which sometimes isn’t always nice.
There have been incidents of authors going into review spaces for their own books and getting upset with seeing anything under five-star reviews. Then they’ll take their findings to social media to complain about the review. Sometimes their complaint would be directly towards the reviewer or be generalized. This would then cause fans of the author to go after the reviewer.
Just recently, I saw an indie author complain on social media about getting their first one-star review. I understand how upsetting it could be to pour your tears, sweat, and blood into your work. However, the story may not be for everyone.
My finished novel is a romance novel. The main character gets kidnapped and has growing romantic feelings for her kidnapper. This is not going to be everyone’s cup of tea. And I am completely understanding of that.
So yes, one-star reviews can stab you in the heart. Our stories are our precious little babies and all we want is the best to happen for them. However, replying to the one-star reviews, even if it’s not directly to the reviewer, is unprofessional and quite honestly, dangerous for the reviewer.
Book reviewers should have a space where they share their honest opinions about a book. Book reviewers do it not for the author, but for future readers who might want to read the book. It helps make a reader determine whether the book would be a good fit for them or not. The time when authors get their feedback is when they are editing with an editor and having beta-readers.
With that being said, authors, please stay out of book reviews of your books.
To be fair, every year since 2019 has been a wild ride for me. I’m not here to talk about 2019, 2020, or 2021 though – I want to talk about 2022.
The biggest challenge this past year was my surgery. For those who are new readers, I had surgery back in June on my ankle and foot. Long story short, it had to be reconstructed. I spent my whole summer in recovery. It challenged me in new ways I didn’t think was possible.
In January, I brought home my first hamster, Winter, and got a job promotion. In April, I brought home my second hamster, Chrollo. In May, I graduated from community college with an associate in liberal arts. In July, I finished the first draft of my novel DOUBLE LIFE. In September, I started my first full-time semester at my university.
It wasn’t such an eventful year like going on an extravagant vacation to Hawaii or getting married. However, it was an amazing year for me.
The best part of this year was finding myself again. I fell back in love with writing after taking almost a year hiatus. Writing kept me sane during my recovery. I got to meet amazing new friends from writing, completed my first ever full manuscript (which inspires me to continue writing), and figured out I want a career in creative writing.
Apart from writing, I finally got a diagnosis that made me feel I wasn’t alone, and I felt heard for the first time in my life.
I was formally diagnosed with ADHD.
After getting my ADHD diagnosis, a light shined in the void I was entrapped in. I read books and interacted with people who also had ADHD to gather more information. I related and felt such a relief to know what was going on in my brain. It helped me grow and become the person I am ending this year.
I have the tools to help me be even more successful in 2023.
For 2023, I made a list of goals to complete:
1.) Write.
2.) Write another full manuscript.
3.) Continue to understand my ADHD diagnosis.
4.) Get my work published.
5.) Create an animation.
6.) Continue to improve my mental health.
7.) Travel at least once.
8.) And of course…continuing to write more blog posts for you all to enjoy.
The following story is a Christmas short story set in the universe of my completed manuscript, DOUBLE LIFE. Here is a sneak peek of the wonderful characters in the novel I hold close and dear to my heart.
DOUBLE LIFE follows the story of college student, Miku Yami, who found out her college professor, Chrollo Tavens, was a gang leader outside of class. Chrollo decides to kidnap her to keep her quiet about his double lifestyle. Miku must find a way to adjust to the gang life or she will not survive, but it does not help she is falling in love with Chrollo.
I hope you enjoy this short story. Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!
Trigger Warning: strong language.
The fire alarm rang through the house as I removed the pan from the oven.
“Shit, shit, shit!” I mumbled as I threw the pan onto the stovetop.
I grabbed a barstool and dragged it over to the fire alarm in the center of the ceiling in the kitchen. As I climbed up it, the kitchen double doors bursted open.
“Miku, are you okay?!” Chrollo asked as I pushed the little red button on the fire alarm.
The obnoxious ringing came to an end and I let out a breath of relief. “It’s okay.”
Chrollo walked over and placed an arm under my knees while his other hand snuck onto my lower back. He lifted me off of the bar stool and held me in his arms like a princess. My face grew warm, but I managed to wrap my arms around his neck and pulled him closer.
“My knight in shining armor,” I whispered as I pressed my lips against his cheek.
“Mm,” he hummed and nuzzled his nose into my cheek.
“Holy it’s so smoky in here!” Kai shouted.
I jumped slightly, but Chrollo’s arms around me held me in position. I turned my head to see Kai walking past us and going over to the oven. He closed it and then walked to the opposite side of the kitchen to open the window above the sink.
Chrollo left a quick kiss on my lips before setting me down on my feet. “Miku’s trying to burn the place down. I knew she secretly hated our new home.”
“Chrollo!” I smacked his arm playfully as he snickered and walked over to the pan on the stovetop.
“If this was the old hideout, then I would believe she would burn it down,” Kai commented. “If there’s no need for concern, I am taking my leave.”
With that, Kai stepped out of the kitchen and closed the doors behind him. I rolled my eyes and walked over to the back door, cracking it open and letting the cool, dead of winter cold into the kitchen.
“I think we may need to order out tonight,” I said as I walked over to Chrollo.
“I mean, it looks edible,” Chrollo carefully said, as if he knew if he agreed with me, I would smack his arm again.
I rolled my eyes and wrapped my arms around his waist from behind. I leaned my head on the back of his shoulder and rubbed my hands up and down his abdomen.
“You don’t have to be nice, baby.” I sighed. “I just really wanted to make a nice Christmas dinner for everyone. To show my appreciation and love for the gang.”
“I’m pretty sure everyone knows how much you appreciate us,” he explained.
I shook my head. “You don’t understand. You guys saved my life and a simple dinner could never amount to saving my life.”
Chrollo turned around in my arms and cupped my cheeks with his hands. “Miku, you are as much a member of this gang as the next guy. This is what we do; we look out for each other and save each other if we need saving. We are a family and that is what we do. You don’t owe us anything for saving your life. We did it out of love.”
I found myself smiling at his cheesiness. “You’re so-”
I felt a rush of a breeze behind me and something hanging over my head. I looked up to see a mistletoe hanging over mine and Chrollo’s heads.
“You must kiss, it’s a rule under the mistletoe,” Takeo said from behind me.
“Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!” Fae chanted behind me.
I rolled my eyes and went to object, but Chrollo was already leaning his face towards mine. My cheeks burned as his soft lips connected with mine. He wasted no time pushing his tongue into my mouth and our tongues wrestled in harmony. I could hear Takeo and Fae giggling and whistling. I tried to pull away, but Chrollo moved his hands on my hips and pulled me in closer.
“Get it boss!” Takeo chuckled.
I reached behind me and punched him in the gut. He groaned as I moved my hand onto Chrollo’s shoulder and then moved it along to the back of his neck. Chrollo pulled away from my lips and kissed his way down my jaw and to my neck.
“Okay now, get a room.” Fae groaned and soon after, I heard footsteps retreating out of the kitchen.
Chrollo chuckled against my neck before pulling away completely. I turned around and saw the kitchen door closing behind them. I smiled and turned back to face Chrollo.
“You did that to purposefully shoo them off.”
He nodded. “Mhm. It worked, didn’t it?”
I giggled and pecked his lips. “Indeed it did.”
“I have to go finish wrapping some presents, so don’t come in the bedroom,” he warned and I rolled my eyes. “What’s that eye roll for?” He pulled me back into his arms and gave my body a squeeze against his.
“Waiting for the very last minute to finish wrapping, huh?” I wrapped my arms around his neck and stood up on my tippy toes to poke my nose against his.
“I’ve been busy this whole month.”
“Excuses, excuses.”
“Mm then I take you don’t want your Christmas present?”
I gasped. “You wouldn’t dare.”
“I would dare.” He smirked and moved inches away from my lips. “So be a good girl, Santa has a nice gift for you.” My eyes widened as he gave me a light kiss. My face burned as he pulled away. “Order some pizza. I’ll have Sawyer go pick it up.”
All I did was nod my head at him and he left the kitchen.
I bit my bottom lip as I thought about the way Chrollo teased me. I was going to get him back later for this.
However, I found myself liking that side of him.
Loud laughter and singing brought me out of my thoughts. I walked out of the kitchen into the living room to see Fae, Kai, and Iven huddled together and singing loudly. Kai sang the loudest and out of tune to the song Rudolph, The Red-Nosed Reindeer. On one side of the room, Sawyer was sitting on the couch, chugging a beer and holding another bottle in his hand, ready to down another one. Standing behind the couch was Dai holding his phone at Fae, Kai, and Iven; more than likely recording them. On the other side of the room was Takeo and Kyan sparring next to the Christmas tree.
Placing my hand over my mouth, I laughed at the sight in front of me.
Once I was able to stop laughing, I noticed Chrollo and Miles were missing from the group. I knew Chrollo was wrapping gifts, but where would Miles be?
I knew Miles wouldn’t be into the scene happening in front of me, but he would’ve at least still be in the room. He may have been downing beers like Sawyer to forget this.
I walked through the room and up the stairs to the bedrooms. All the doors were shut except for his. I walked up to his door and lightly knocked on it before pushing open.
“Hey Miles,” I greeted as I entered his room.
He was laying on his bed in a dark room with only the television screen giving light. He looked over in my direction. “What’s up?”
“Everything okay?” I asked as I took a seat next to him on the bed. “Why aren’t you down there celebrating with everyone else?”
“I’m not in the mood,” was all he said before changing the subject. “How’s dinner coming along?”
I rubbed the back of my head and chuckled slightly. “Well…it’s not edible. I have to call and get a pizza. Do you maybe want to go pick it up? Sawyer is kind of drunk.”
Miles nodded and sat up. “I’ll take care of it.”
We got off of his bed and I pulled him into a hug. He groaned, not hugging me back, and letting his arms dangle at his sides.
“I know you don’t like hugs, but you looked like you needed one,” I said before pulling away.
He placed a hand on top of my head for a couple seconds before removing it. That was Miles’ way of showing he appreciated the concern I just showed. I smiled lightly and watched him walk across the room to his closet.
I gave him some privacy and closed his door behind me as I left. My bedroom door opened and I saw Chrollo was walking out of the room with a pile of wrapped presents in his arms. I rushed over and took a few from the pile.
“I got it babe,” Chrollo tried to say, but I still took some presents.
“Miles is going to get the pizza,” I told him as we headed towards the stairs. “Wait until you see what’s going on down here.”
“I hear them.” He chuckled.
We walked downstairs and everyone was exactly in the same position as when I left. If anything, the singing and laughter got louder.
Chrollo and I brought the presents over to the Christmas tree and placed them underneath. Takeo knocked into me, causing me to jolt forward into the tree. Chrollo placed an arm in front of me and caught me just before I could knock the tree down.
“Takeo!” I shouted and held onto Chrollo’s arm.
“Spar at another time, or go outside and do it,” Chrollo demanded.
Takeo and Kyan pouted, but walked away and went to join Sawyer on the couch. I shook my head and stood up.
“They’re all children,” I commented, which made Chrollo laugh.
He wrapped an arm around my waist as I watched everyone. Fae, Kai, and Iven were now singing Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer. Sawyer polished off the two beers from before and was staring into his lap. Dai was still recording, but he joined in on the singing. Takeo and Kyan were now playing thumb war, aggressively. Miles came down the stairs and was staring at the room with fear and confusion in his eyes.
A hand grabbed my hand and I felt a small box being placed in it. I glanced down and saw a green wrapping paper and red bow on the box no bigger than the size of my hand.
“Open this love.”
I smiled and unwrapped it gently. I then opened the box and my eyes widened at the beautiful silver locket sitting in the box. I took it out and opened the locket to see a photo of Chrollo and I kissing.
“Baby,” was all I could say, turning to look up at him with a huge smile on my face.
“Let me put it on for you.” He took the locket and I turned my back towards him while lifting my hair up.
Chrollo reached around to place the locket on me before locking it behind me. When he pulled his hands away, I turned around to face him and let my hair back down. I looked down at the locket and continued to stare at the photo inside.
“This is beyond beautiful.” I looked up at him and let the locket dangle over my heart. “Thank you, I love it so much.”
“I love you so much,” Chrollo countered and kissed me passionately.
I kissed him back, wrapping my arms around his neck and hugging him tightly. “I love you so much.”
Chrollo held me in his arms as I laid my head on his chest. I went back to watching the rest of the gang members interacting and having a fun time.
This was the best Christmas I’ve had in such a long time and one I would cherish deeply for the rest of my life.
For the whole month of July, I gave myself a goal: write 50,000 words in my current work in progress. On the last night of July, I completed it just before midnight!
I never completed a book with that many words before. I would be lucky to get maybe 25,000 words before abandoning the project. This time, I pushed through and hit that 50,000 words and I am still not at the end of my story, which is crazy for me to think about. It’s a huge accomplishment for me and I couldn’t be more proud of myself.
However, there were times where I definitely wanted to quit and forget about the challenge.
Some days, I didn’t even write a single word. Other days, I wrote 5,000 words. I also want to mention I didn’t start on July 1st…I started writing July 8th. It was a rough start and a choppy middle. It was no smooth sailing so let me tell you about my experience.
I’ve heard of NaNaWriMo since I was a senior in high school. My creative writing teacher challenged my class the month of November to the camp. We wrote a book and set a goal with the number of words. I couldn’t remember since I deleted the work when I finished. I know I didn’t reach my goal since another classmate of mine did. It was disappointing to not reach the goal, but it didn’t stop me from writing.
Fast forward to this summer and I had my surgery. I was going to be cooped up all summer so I figured I would make good use of my time. I finished out my online college class at the end of June and then I jumped right into my story idea.
I completely forgot NaNaWriMo hosts the July camp until I saw some users on Twitter talking about it. Before setting myself a goal for this summer, I had originally planned to work on a few stories. One being this book (Double Life), another being a poetry collection of all the poems I’ve ever wrote, another being a children’s book, and another photography photo book.
Double Life wasn’t my first pick for the July camp. I was originally going to write another story idea, but I instantly hit a roadblock at the first chapter. The idea had to be developed and wasn’t strong enough for me to work on it for a month. If I gave more time to planning it, it could’ve worked…but I wasn’t feeling it at the beginning of July. Maybe August.
Then Double Life came about. I already had this ideas circulating in my head for months. It came to me in a dream and I even roleplayed with my friend about it online using anime characters. The idea was planned with more details so I ran with it.
Of course I changed some things from the dream, the roleplay, and the anime I got the idea from. I wanted it to be different and to fit for young adults ideally. Finally, Double Life was born.
As I mentioned before, I started July 8th. I spent the first few days with the other idea before trashing it. I then spent a few days planning before actually writing. As in planning, I meant create characters and create a plot diagram.
For those who aren’t aware, a plot diagram is a guide for a writer. It starts with the expedition, which is usually where the problem first arises. Then it leads with rising action, which are the events that happen in between the expedition and the climax. The climax is the point of the story where the character is facing the height of their problems. For example, the final battle of a superhero and a supervillain. Following the climax is the falling action, where we see the results of what happened from the climax. And finally, we have the resolution. Where the problem is completely solved and that’s where the story ends.
After getting the characters and plot diagram down, I was ready to start writing.
In the beginning, I was hooked. I wrote for four days in a row and then I stopped. I got to my first writer’s block and didn’t know how to fill the gap between the rising action and the climax. Even though I wrote a plot diagram, I had to find a way to fit another situation between the rising actions. After taking a break for a day, I was back to it and wrote for another day.
After jumping that first hurdle of a writer’s block, I was back on track. Then I started to get unmotivated by my depression to continue. I fell into this deep hole where I didn’t want to do anything. No writing, no drawing, no television…absolutely nothing. So for a period, I would write either 200 words or no words.
A few days of feeling like this and I felt defeated. It was some users on Twitter that got me out of my funk and to continue writing. I wanted to show the world my craft and inspire others to write as well. So I typed away and would hit 5,000 words a day for quite some time.
Before I knew it, it was the last week of July and I was about 20,000 words away from hitting my goal. I worked restlessly for the last week, aiming to write until I passed out from exhaustion. I would be up until one or two in the morning just typing away.
Finally, it brings us to July 31st and I am struggling to make it to the finish line. I avoided writing all day with self-doubt hanging out on my shoulder. It whispered not so nice things. I ignored them and pushed through. I wanted to write the last roughly 6,000 words and hit that 50,000 words mark. I wasn’t going to stop until I did.
11:51pm came and I entered in my last entry. When I hit enter, I was in. I completed my writing challenge for the month.
My take away from all of this? Make yourself a goal before you write. It doesn’t have to be as extreme as mine, but it could be enough to challenge you. Start at 25,000 words a month or even do a daily amount of 2,000 words. Take notes on what you wrote: such as how you felt while writing and where you want to take the next chapter. Make sure you plan ahead…or if you’re good at free-styling it, then make sure you’re story idea is strong enough to freestyle. Do what works for you, not something that works for other writers.
I suggest you join the next NaNaWriMo camp and push yourself. You never know where it could lead you next.
July is Disability Pride Month. Even though the month is a little over halfway over, I want to share with you all a personal story that highlights the pride I have for myself this month.
It’s believed I’ve got my hearing loss from having high fevers as a baby. It’s also believed I just might’ve been born with a hearing loss. No one knows, but regardless, I have a hearing loss. In order for me to hear well, I wear hearing aids in both ears.
I’ve been wearing hearing aids since I was five years old. That’s when my hearing loss was first discovered. The school nurse did a physical examination on the students and when it came to a hearing test, she reached out to my parents to share her concerns. Next thing we did was go to my doctor’s office and get my hearing checked. Turns out, I have a hearing loss and am in need of hearing aids.
Due to my hearing loss, I am unable to hear high pitched sounds. Letters like “s”, “c”, and “z” are hard for me to hear. Sounds like “sh”, “ch”, and “k” are hard for me to hear. I also have trouble hearing women’s voices if they’re talking low or mumbling. Men’s voices I have better luck with hearing since they got a deeper and lower pitch sound.
My hearing loss have also caused speech problems. The letters and sounds I have trouble hearing, I naturally have trouble pronouncing. Many people have trouble understanding me when I say words due to my speech problems. Like the other day, I was giving my email address over the phone and when I spelt out my email, which have two x’s at the end. Because of my speech impairments, I said, “two x’s as in x-ray.” The lady didn’t understand and I kept repeating myself since I couldn’t come up with another word with x. Eventually though, I said “x as in like when you cross something off” and the lady understood what I meant.
Due to these issues I would have due to my hearing loss, it made me feel different growing up. It also didn’t help I was maybe one of a few kids in school wearing hearing aids.
It also didn’t help I used to be pulled out of my regular classes for speech class a few times a week, had an IEP (Individual Educational Plan), and had my teachers wear a microphone that was connected to my hearing aids to help me hear them better. My teachers were all so understanding of my issues and used to help accommodate me and I will forever be grateful for that, but I still felt like an outsider.
Having a hearing loss and wearing hearing aids was such a shameful thing for me growing up. Now, I love how there’s hearing aids to help me out. I have kids come up to me and say how cool that is. There are even kids I see at work that come in and I see they’re wearing hearing aids. I always talk to them and their families. I always tell the kids to never be ashamed of their hearing loss and hearing aids. I don’t want them to feel the way I’ve felt and regret it when they’re older. It feels nice to show kids that it’s okay to be born different.
The best part of my hearing aids is if I don’t want to listen to the world around me, I turn them off and take them out. The world is much lower and it helps me escape reality a bit. I feel sorry for those with “normal hearing” and cannot do that.
Are there times when I wish I could have “normal hearing” and not have to wear hearing aids? Totally. I think it’s normal to feel that way and to wonder what life would’ve been like, regardless of the disability one may have. I wouldn’t change a thing though, although I do wish my hearing would stop getting worse as I get older.
For the rest of the month of July, let someone you know that has a disability in their life know they’re one of a kind and learn more about their disability. If you have a disability like me, I encourage you to share your story and to love yourself as you are. There’s nothing shameful about your disability, it isn’t the only thing that defines who you are. It’s a part of you, but you’re not alone.
Let’s not only continue this celebration the rest of the month, but the rest of our lives, of being who we are!
Photo taken by me; artist unknown. Asbury Park Boardwalk.
Art comes in a variety of different forms. Art can come in painting, music, writing, performance, photography, and many more forms. Anything that a person creates could be considered art.
For the longest time, I always thought art was just drawing, painting, and sketching. To me, it was about creating on a canvas or sketch pad. I also always thought art had to look professional and presentable.
Then I took History of Western Art class at my university and it opened my eyes.
My professor taught art from the Renaissance to Contemporary periods. I’ve looked at different forms of art from oil paintings on a canvas to performance art. My favorite has got to be Cai Guo-Qiang with his Sky Ladder. I highly recommend checking it out. Guo-Qiang used gunpowder to create a ladder in the sky when it was lit up. To have seen that in person would’ve been amazing and I envy not seeing it in person.
When I first started writing, I was in middle school. It was the first form of art I took part in. I started out with fanfiction and then I moved away from that to just fiction. My favorite kind of genre to write is fantasy. Anything involving magic, vampires, superpowers, and all other supernatural things.
Then during my freshman year of high school, I took Digital Media & Photography class. Half of the school year, we focused on photography. We were given professional cameras in school and we would go around photographing all kinds of things. That inspired me to get my own professional camera and photograph on my own. The other half of the year, we focused on digital media. I learned about Adobe Photoshop and Adobe Illustrator. I fell in love with it and began to draw digitally. I even took some art classes in high school and had this one teacher really fall in love with my art style. She inspired me to continue with my drawing and to develop my own style.
Believe it or not, video games is also another type of art. It includes digital drawings, digital animation, and script writing. Even the coding done behind the games could be considered art, since you’re creating codes to make the game playable.
Anime and cartoons are a form of art. Drama shows are a form of art. Even the news channel is a form of art. All performance arts.
Art is in everyday life more than we realize. Like designs on clothing, writing on billboards, photos in your mom’s photo albums, and even television shows. Even this blog post I’m writing right now is considered art. It’s truly amazing with the amount of art that is in our everyday lives. I hope I helped you open your eyes about art the way my professor did and to appreciate it.
I’m sure my current readers are sick and tired of me talking about my surgery. However, I will continue to talk about it since it’s what has been on my mind ever since.
Since I got my surgery, I’ve had to go on a leave of absence at my job. They wouldn’t let me work while I was in a cast and my doctor didn’t want me working until after I can walk again. I guess it’s what’s best considering I am a dog trainer and I’ve had multiple dogs knock me over before.
My boss knew I would be gone for at least three months while I recovered. He went out and hired another dog trainer for the store.
Am I happy about it? Yes, because I want my store to succeed and help those who needs their dogs trained. Do I feel replaced? Yes.
I am guaranteed my job back after my leave of absence is up, as stated in my huge stack of paperwork I had to fill out. However, the store already had another trainer. So there was two of us and we work great together. Part of the reason I transferred into the dog training department was because it was my own department basically. The other trainer only worked one day a week so she did her thing and I did mine on the other days of the week. Now with third trainer in the mix, things will get complicated.
Supposedly he will work the weekdays I don’t work when I come back while I also get Sundays and the other trainer gets just Saturdays. I guess my boss wants training every night of the week. Realistically, I don’t see how there will be enough people signed up per class if we have classes running every night Monday-Friday and all day on Saturday and Sunday. We’re a busy store, but not that busy at the same time.
Plus it will take a dent in my commission since I will have less dogs to train, but that’s not the point I’m trying to get across.
Feeling replaced so quickly just showed me even though I’m gone from my job, it will still function without me. They’ll just hire a replacement, train them, and suck the life out of them until they leave. Then the cycle will repeat itself.
I debated getting my surgery since my boss tried to talk me out of getting it. No, I’m not exaggerating. He started out if I knew I was getting it done and why he bothered to send me to train to be a dog trainer if I was leaving. Then he claimed I should make sure the surgery helps in the long run and not to be like him, who had surgeries that didn’t help for him. It sounded like he cared, but was trying to make me feel bad about leaving at the same time.
That talk really pushed me towards getting my surgery. Of course, it wasn’t the only thing that made me get the surgery, but it definitely pushed me a bit more.
Work will always just replace their employees. Whether they need to leave for health reasons like me, or they just get fired or quit on their own. They don’t care, especially big corporations. There are billions of people in the world and lots of them are looking for jobs. They’ll just fill the spot and move along. It’s almost like you’re a toy. Once you get old and broken, it’s time for the newer version.
So take that mental health day. Take that time off to spend time with your grandparents. Take the day off to go with your girl friends to a Broadway Show in New York City. Use up all your vacation time and sick time before the end of the year.
Live your life to the fullest and don’t slave away for a job that will just replace you the next day. It’s just not worth it. Your life is worth more than being another slave to the corporation.
Personally, I don’t know if I could ever go through with an abortion as it takes a strong mentality to go through with it. Just because I feel I cannot go through with it; doesn’t mean I want other women to not have that choice. There are many reasons why women will go to get an abortion such as rape, incest, not financially stable to raise a child, is transgender, health issues that can kill the mother, health issues that leaves the fetus to not be able to live outside the womb, etc.
To take that right away from women to not get an abortion is sickening. It’s taking away safe options for women to safely get an abortion. There will be lots of undercover stuff and dangerous methods to terminate a pregnancy.
Now why would the government decide to make this decision? Simple: to be in control and to make money out of this somehow.
The government not only show greed but is leading the women’s rights movement backwards. Women worked hard towards those equal rights to men. Woman never had been equal; there is still no equal pay, and now no equal healthcare. Women are seen and treated as inferior to men when in reality, we should be treated equally; even superior. Without women, there would be no babies. The human race would simply go into extinction because who would carry and birth babies?
It’s a matter of time before the government decide to make things worse such as taking away gay rights. As someone part of the LGBTQ+ community and as a woman now, I am terrified to see what would happen.
The other day, I’ve had an interaction with a man on Twitter. He claimed that men should be considered in the decision to terminate a pregnancy since half of the genes of the baby are his. Is he carrying the baby for nine months? Is he gaining extra weight? Is his health at risk? Is his life at risk? No.
If men want to have sex with women and get them pregnant, they must understand they’re not in charge of what the woman decide to do. If a woman wants to terminate the pregnancy for whatever reason, she should have every right to. If men want babies, find a woman that wants to have a baby with them, use a surrogate, or adopt the many children that need a home.
I am not usually the one that like to get involved in politics, but this new policy is just a huge step backwards in women’s rights that I just had to speak out about it and let others aware of what’s been going on. I’m going to say this forever: women have the right to get an abortion and do whatever the hell she wants to her body. The government has no say; especially by old politicians with one foot in the grave. The United States of America is supposed to be a great country, but these last few years has been showing elsewise. Let’s change that instead of being a laughingstock of the world.
Here’s what YOU can do: speak out! Donate to Planned Parenthood. Give support to those who need a shoulder to lean on during these trying times.
Let’s hope we can crawl out of this dark hole and go back to moving forward with women’s rights.
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